Life is fun kiddos...

"Come home when the street lights come on!!" That's what my mom and step dad used to tell us when we were growing up.

We lived in the ever growing town of Wichita Falls in the mid 80's. There were new homes popping up around us all the time. These were our playgrounds. We would scavenger around the job sites looking for little stuff the workers may have left behind that we could mess with...nothing bad. I mean sure a nail gun sounds like fun but we all know where that leads, to a cover up lie about how it really happened. Life was fun though! Bumps, bruises, blood and scars. that is pretty much my adolescents wrapped up in a nut shell. Which, in case you are wondering, a hand full of those hurt like an SOB when shot out of a potato gun....Don't ask.

I digress...What I am getting at is how times have changed. I know I know that makes me sound old, I don't care. You shouldn't have to MAKE your kids want to play outside. I see it all the time! My kids friends come over and want to sit around inside and play video games. And when they ask my kids to play the newest video game my kids hit them in the face with a Nerf gun and say "SUCCKA!" and run outside and play like normal kids there by forcing the friends to get off their chubby little butts and run to get them!

Not the best way to handle it but hey, it works! And to all you parents out there that use your electronic babysitters to "keep your kids out of your hair".....YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!

Trust me, I am overprotective and anal when it come to my kids getting hurt just like the next parent but it isn't because they are hurt....it is because insurance sucks now! So as some of you already know I use a sure fire way to know how hurt my son is.... If your son gets hurt and comes crying for a band aid do what I do: Do the whole oooh and ahhh, oh my that must have hurt thing then bust out some Barbie or My Little Pony band aids. If they wipe the overly dramatic tear from their eye and back off and say "no, I'm ok", then it was minor. If they don't even notice that it is pink and smells like fairy farts then you need to load up and hit the nearest doc in the box.

Either way....it's time to get your kids outside and enjoy what life has to offer. Sticks and stones may break their bones but at least it wasn't from falling off the couch while reaching for a Cheeto.

Effin' Butterflies

Well here we are. Right where the fates have landed us. I am here because of all the choices I have made in my life. Right or wrong, good or bad, happy or sad, sober or drunk.....and I tell you what, I wouldn't change a second of it if given the chance!

They say never settle for anything less than butterflies, I am not sure who "they" are but "they" are right. Now, don't think I am just talking about the butterflies that come around when you meet someone. Just like in nature, butterflies come from all kinds of variety of moths aka reasons.

Sometimes you get them when you have a job interview, or when you find out you are pregnant, or that your favorite football team is coming to town and a buddy might have an extra ticket for you. And sometimes they come when you find out your Jr high crush is going to meet you on a random road trip with your friends. I will get back to you on that story later....stick around it is pretty good.....

Now, these butterflies can vary in size too...anywhere from little tiny ones that feel a little like gas bubbles all the way to full grown falcons that feel like they are gonna rip your guts out. The last one normally is accompanied by cold sweats, heart palpitations and a law enforcement agent of some sort.

These sneaky little fuckers don't just hang out in your gut either. They can be in your chest where they make you feel like you forgot how to breath. In your throat where you are confused if you are choking or you are producing enough saliva to drown a small mammal. Sometimes these little fellas travel south past your tummy into the dumpster of your intestines. They make you feel like you ate a burrito from the Allsup's gas station. Don't know if you want to shit or puke. Either way it is not pleasant!

I can't say that I don't like having butterflies because to be honest they haven't gone away in a couple of weeks....but these are the good ones....the ones that make your heart smile. I don't see them leaving for a little bit longer....and that gets me thinking....do butterflies shit?

~L